


Forward

by ithilien22



Series: Found Family 'Verse [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 04:39:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9965438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ithilien22/pseuds/ithilien22
Summary: The night before Alec's wedding to Lydia, he's offered a glimpse of his future.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't.. know? The time travel AU nobody asked for??

This is a stupid idea. Alec knows he shouldn't be patrolling right now, at least not by himself, but it's the night before his wedding to Lydia and he's amped. He can't just sit still (or, God forbid, _sleep_ ) tonight, not when his head is swimming with such conflicting emotions. The only thing he's really happy about at the moment is that he managed to fix things with Jace.

Although, he thinks grimly, if that were really true, would he be out here alone right now?

He edges up to another corner and crouches slightly to peer around it. _Clear_. He straightens and turns the corner, keeping to the shadows at the edge of the building. He's down near the wharf; they had received unsubstantiated reports of demon activity in the area. Honestly, he doesn't know if he came out here hoping for a fight or not.

He edges up to another corner, but this time peering around the edge does not present an empty alley. There are two figures talking in low tones just out of his earshot. One of them has a set of horns protruding rather grandly from her skull. _Warlock_.

Alec hesitates, deciding to surveil the pair a bit more before intervening. Although their location is suspect, there's nothing to indicate they're actually breaking any of the Accords.

After a few moments of still soft, but seemingly heated conversation, the warlock looks past her companion, straight at Alec. He blanches, but forces himself not to move. There's no way she can see him from that distance, half-hidden behind the building, shrouded in shadows. He doubts he would even be able to see her, if he hadn't activated his vision rune.

"Yes, I see you, nephilim," the warlock's voice is steady and no louder than a normal speaking volume, though it carries much farther than it should. "Come out, come out."

Alec swallows, but straightens, moving out of the shadows and towards the unknown pair. If he's been spotted, there's no use in trying to pretend otherwise.

The warlock laughs as he approaches, and it's a lighter sound than he expects.

"Come out, come out," she repeats. "That's ironic, isn't it?"

She seems to be speaking to her companion, who finally turns to show Alec his face. He's beautiful in a soft ethereal sort of way, his high cheekbones framed by long chestnut hair that's tucked behind gently pointed ears. _Seelie_.

The man seems to regard Alec curiously as he comes to a stop before them. He doesn't echo his friend's laughter, but there does seem to be amusement in his tone.

"Shadowhunters are born of irony," he replies. Her smile grows.

"There have been reports of demon activity in this area," Alec tells them bluntly, ignoring their baited words. "Do either of you have any information about that?"

The woman puts a hand to her heart in mock surprise, mouth agape.

"Demons!" she repeats. "My word!"

The man rolls his eyes at her antics, but otherwise doesn't respond.

"Do you want to be cited for impeding an official Clave investigation?" Alec asks. It's not, of course, actually an official Clave investigation. He didn't even tell anyone he was going out tonight. But he's starting to get annoyed.

The woman's smile turns crooked.

"I would love to help you, sweetheart," she says, taking a step towards Alec that has him taking a matching step back without even thinking. "But it's not the demons out here you need help with."

"Gavrila," the man says, tone warning, "don't tangle yourself in this."

The woman - Gavrila - waves him off, still advancing toward Alec.

"This young man needs help, didn't you hear?" she says. She's inches from Alec now, and he forces himself not to flinch back from her. His seraph blade hangs heavy at his hip.

"I'll help you slay your demons," she promises, close enough that Alec can feel the breath of her words against his neck. She reaches a hand up to cup his face, and before Alec can even react, everything goes dark.

\---

Alec comes to slowly, blinking up at the early morning sun, sprawled out on the concrete of the very same alley he'd met the warlock and seelie the night before. 

The night before! _Shit_. He can already imagine all the yelling that Isabelle is going to do when he gets back to the institute after disappearing all night. He groans, forcing himself to his feet. She would be right to do so, of course. He can't believe how stupid he was. He's lucky the warlock hadn't done more than knock him out.

He makes his way back to the institute as quickly as he can. He's almost to the entrance when he spots Jace leaving and Alec says a quick prayer to Raziel at his luck. Maybe Jace can still cover for him.

Alec catches up to him before he can get too far, but once he sees his parabatai up close, he realizes something about Jace seems off. He looks different somehow. Tired, maybe? Or his hair is styled differently? 

"Alec!" Jace says, confusion blooming bright across his face. "What are you doing here? I thought Saturdays were 'sacred'?"

He holds his hands up to make air quotes as he says the word 'sacred,' rolling his eyes as if this is a conversation they've had often. Now it's Alec's turn to be confused.

"Listen, I was... out last night. Accidentally," he says after a beat, deciding to ignore Jace's comments, in favor of asking for his help. "Do you think you could cover for me?"

Jace's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.

"You don't mean- you didn't do anything stupid, did you?" he asks. He must not like whatever he sees on Alec's face, because his expression quickly sours.

"Damnit, Alec," he mutters lowly, glancing around surreptitiously as if to make sure no one else is listening to their conversation.

"I know, okay," Alec responds tightly. He'll take what's coming to him from Isabelle, but he hardly thinks Jace of all people should be lecturing him on taking risks. "I screwed up. Will you cover for me or not?"

Jace scowls.

"Fine, I'll cover for you with Magnus," he says. "But only because of Madzie. And you have to promise me it's not going to happen again."

Alec blanches at Magnus's name. He doesn't even hear the rest of Jace's admonishment.

"Magnus?" he repeats incredulously. "What does Magnus have to do with this?"

"Okay, now I'm officially confused," Jace says. "You just said you were out all night and needed me to cover for you?"

"With Lydia and our mother," Alec replies slowly, as if pronouncing each word more carefully will somehow get he and Jace back on the same page. "I figure with the wedding being today, they'll be distracted anyway, but it would help if you had my back."

Jace is staring at him unnervingly hard now, like he's trying to puzzle something out in his head. He cocks his head to the side and regards Alec carefully.

"How old are you?" he asks finally.

"What?"

"Just- humor me for a second," Jace says, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-three," Alec tells him, rolling his eyes for good measure. Jace's eyes go wide and he curses under his breath.

"What-" Alec starts to ask but he's cut off by the sound of Jace's phone ringing. Jace glances down at the caller ID and holds a hand out to Alec before answering.

"Hello? ... No, he's here. Well, sort of. ... It means, I don't know what it means actually. ... Look, I'll bring him home and maybe you can tell us."

Jace hangs up the phone and gives Alec another appraising look.

"Okay, come on," he says. "We're going to Magnus's place."

\---

Standing outside of Magnus's loft just serves as a stark reminder of the last time Alec was there, and he fidgets uncomfortably at the memory. He still has no idea what's going on, but he knows that the last thing he wants to do is see Magnus right now. 

Or ever again, ideally.

But it's not Magnus who opens the door; it's a young girl, maybe teen-aged, looking up at them expectantly. Her eyes linger on Alec.

"Hey Mads," Jace says, voice gentler than Alec is used to hearing. "I need to talk to your dad."

The girl continues to stare at Alec. Jace clears his throat uncomfortably.

"I mean, your other-"

"You're out of time," she tells Alec, seeming to ignore Jace altogether. 

Alec blinks. But before he can react to such an ominous statement, the girl rolls her eyes. It's an oddly familiar gesture.

"Not like that," she says, even though Alec hasn't said anything. "It's like when all the clocks go forward in the Spring. Except someone set yours too far forward, I think."

"Wait," Jace cuts in. "Are you telling me he time traveled? Mads, come on. That's not possible."

Before the girl can respond - or Alec can process what she's said ( _time travel?_ ) - there's movement behind her and Magnus steps into view. Something sharp twists in Alec's gut.

"Alexander," Magnus says heavily. He looks relieved. 

The girl tugs at Magnus's hand. 

"He's out of time," she repeats. Magnus looks back at Alec again, but more calculating this time. He frowns.

"Indeed, duckling," he says, seemingly to the girl. "He certainly seems to be."

"Okay, will someone please tell me what's going on?" Alec asks, finally fed up with everyone speaking in riddles. 

"Let's not do this in the hall, shall we?" Magnus suggests, stepping back to allow them entrance into the loft. Alec shares a glance with Jace before filing in behind him. As soon as they're all inside, Alec turns back to Magnus with an expectant expression.

"Well?" he asks.

"Why don't you start," Magnus says lightly. "What were you doing before you woke up this morning?"

Alec opens his mouth to argue that he's not the one who should be answering questions, but closes it again just as quickly when it suddenly hits him. The warlock!

"Damnit," he swears under his breath, then flinches when he remembers there's a teenager in the room. "Sorry, I just- last night. There was this warlock. She must have done something to me."

Magnus's eyes narrow.

"Do you know her name?"

Alec thinks.

"Gavrila?" he says hesitantly. "I think that's what the seelie said."

Magnus closes his eyes for a moment. He looks suddenly weary.

"Magnus?" Jace asks tentatively. "What is it?"

Magnus opens his eyes. 

"There's a reason most warlocks don't meddle with time," he says. "It's... volatile."

"You're saying I'm actually in another time?" Alec asks. "Is that the same as another dimension?"

"Yes and, well, no," Magnus responds. "Dimensions each have their own rules, their own set of structures, including time. But to alter time itself, to move through it within a dimension, that's..."

He trails off, gesturing vaguely. 

"But you can fix it right?" Jace asks. "I mean, if he's here, where's... our Alec?"

Magnus's frown deepens. 

"I don't know," he admits. "But I do think I can undo Gavrila's spell. It's just going to take time, and a healthy amount of caution."

"We have to set his clock back," the girl adds, and Magnus nods absently.

"How much time has passed?" he asks. 

"He told me he was twenty-three," Jace says, and Alec bristles at being discussed as if he's not standing right there in the room.

Magnus hums slightly, still deep in thought. 

"So ten years," he murmurs, as if to himself.

 _Ten years?_ Alec thinks, slightly hysterically. 

Jace's phone chirps again, this time with a text. He glances at the message and sighs.

"I have to go," he says regretfully. 

"It's fine," Magnus says, waving him off. "There's nothing you can do to assist with this part anyway. I'll call you when it's done."

"You're sure?"

"Positive," Magnus replies. 

Alec opens his mouth and then closes it again. Jace nods at him in parting and Alec forces himself to nod back. He guesses it would be pretty childish to ask Jace to stay just so that he doesn't have to be alone with Magnus. Well, Magnus and-

"What's your name?" he asks the girl as Jace makes his exit, crouching down just enough so that he's more or less on her level.

"Madzie," she tells him. 

From this angle, he catches a glimpse of her warlock mark peeking out from underneath her collared dress.

"Cool gills," he says, smiling. She grins.

"I guess it really is you in there," she says. "Even though your aura is so muddy."

"Muddy?" Alec repeats questioningly. 

"It's usually greenish-brown," Madzie explains, "but now it's just brown. I can't see the green at all."

"Because I'm out of time?" he asks.

"I don't think so," she says, cocking her head slightly. "I think it's just because you're so sad."

Alec smiles.

"I'm not sad," he assures her. "Just a little nervous. I've never time traveled before."

He says it like a joke, but Madzie doesn't laugh. She shrugs.

"I need to get some things set up," Magnus tells them. He's holding a rather large and worn looking tome that Alec doesn't remember him having before.

"Can I help?" Madzie asks.

"I think it'd be best if you stay here with your-" 

Magnus cuts himself off mid-sentence. He seems distracted.

"Maybe you could make Alexander some tea?" he suggests.

"I don't want tea, I just want to fix this," Alec says. Magnus rubs his temples.

"And that is what I'm doing," he says softly, gesturing to the nearby couch. "Please."

Alec sits down, feeling slightly chastened. He knows Magnus doesn't deserve his frustration. He doesn't deserve any of this. That's why Alec had made a decision the last time he walked out of this apartment; he wasn't ever coming back.

It's not working out very well so far.

Magnus disappears further into the loft, but Madzie moves to sit beside him on the couch. Alec remembers how Jace had referred to Magnus as Madzie's 'dad'. He wonders how long ago she came into Magnus's life - she's clearly older than the ten years it's supposedly been - but he doesn't know if he should ask. An orphaned warlock is never a particularly happy tale.

"I'm getting married tomorrow," he says instead. He doesn't know why he brings it up, except that a wedding seems like the type of thing a teenage girl might be interested in.

Madzie frowns.

"That's not right," she says, "You only had your five year anniversary this year."

"Maybe Jace got the timing wrong then," Alec says with a shrug, "and it's only been five years."

It occurs to him suddenly that he's missed the true opportunity of the situation, up until now. He's literally been given a glimpse of his own future - maybe he should actually take advantage of it.

"Um, how's my sister?" he asks. He's already seen Jace, so Izzy seems like the obvious place to start. "Isabelle, do you know her? She's... doing okay right?"

"You're doing this all wrong," Madzie tells him. "You're supposed to ask for lottery numbers. Or like, the winners of the last ten superbowls."

"Superbowls?" Alec repeats. He feels like he only understands every other word Madzie says. 

Madzie rolls her eyes again. It should be annoying, but instead something warm unfurls in Alec's chest. He really likes this kid.

He gets up off the couch, unconsciously putting a bit of space in between them. He wanders around the room aimlessly, looking at the various pictures and trinkets lining Magnus's shelves. It's all colorful and eclectic and very Magnus.

He can feel Madzie's eyes on him, but she doesn't say anything. Alec reaches the next shelf and one of the pictures jumps out at him; his own face is staring out at him from the frame. He's grinning broadly - ridiculously - and his arms are wrapped around Magnus. They're at a cafe in a city he doesn't recognize. He picks up the picture, his heart beating wildly.

"What's this?" he asks Madzie, turning the photograph towards her.

Madzie squints at the picture, still seated on the couch.

"Honeymoon?" she guesses. 

Alec's heart rate seems to pick up even further. His hand starts to shake and he accidentally drops the picture, the glass shattering on the wood floor below.

"Shit, sorry-" he says, leaning down to pick up the broken pieces. He accidentally slices his thumb on one of the shards and the blood drips down onto the picture, blotting out his face. Alec sits down heavily, closing his eyes.

"What happened?" Magnus asks, rushing into the room, no doubt brought in by the sound of the glass shattering. 

Alec doesn't open his eyes to look at him, instead keeping his focus on breathing evenly and calming his racing heart. It's been a long time since he had a full blown panic attack, but he can still recognize the signs.

"I don't know," he hears Madzie say worriedly. "He asked me about the picture and then he collapsed-"

"Alexander," Magnus's voice is much closer now, down beside him on the floor. 

"I can't. Breathe," Alec manages to tell him, eyes till closed and head slumped back against the wall. "I'm trying-"

"I'll help you," Magnus says calmly. "Just breathe with me, alright? Deep breath in. Good. Then out. Now in again. And out."

Magnus sits and coaches him through his breathing until the worst of the attack subsides. Alec opens his eyes to find Magnus sitting next to him on the floor. Madzie is standing nearby, still looking concerned.

"Madzie, darling," Magnus says gently. "Can you continue the work I was doing in the study? It shouldn't be left for too much longer, but I'd like to speak to Alexander."

Madzie seems hesitant to leave, but after a moment she does as Magnus asked, leaving them alone on the floor of Magnus's living room.

"I'm marrying Lydia tomorrow," Alec says, more to himself than to Magnus. "This is. None of this is real."

Magnus doesn't respond, he just continues to sit there with Alec, legs stretched out precariously amongst the pieces broken glass. After a beat he reaches out for Alec's hand - the one still dripping blood onto Alec's jeans and the floor below - and Alec reluctantly gives it to him. He feels the magic soothing the sting even before he sees the bright spark of blue envelop his hand.

"I can't have this," Alec says, softer. Pleading.

"Why not?" Magnus asks, equally soft.

"I can't, I can't," Alec repeats, his heart is racing again and he tries to focus on his breathing even as he speaks. "I have to uphold my duty. I'll marry Lydia and we'll regain control of the institute and we-"

He thinks of Madzie and the warm spark of affection for her he can still feel thrumming in his chest.

"And one day we'll have children together," he finishes, his stomach knotting unpleasantly. "That's how it is. That's how it's always been. I can't. I can't have... _this_."

He feels sick.

The magic fades from his hand, but Magnus doesn't let go. Instead he threads their fingers together.

"You're stronger than you think," Magnus tells him. 

He isn't though. If he was, he wouldn't have concocted this... fever dream, this fantasy life where he rides off into the sunset with Magnus, grinning for photos in far away cities and raising a beautiful, playfully sweet daughter together, it's- It's laughable. This isn't Alec's future. Not in his dimension or any other.

Alec pulls his hand out of Magnus's grip. Magnus lets him.

"Well, let's get you home then," Magnus says, his voice affecting a cheeriness that doesn't reach his eyes, "so you don't miss your wedding."

\---

It takes several hours more before Magnus and Madzie have everything prepared for the counterspell. Alec tries to help where he can, but mostly he just stays out of their way and tries not to feel entirely useless.

When everything is ready, Magnus situates him inside of an intricate circle he's drawn on the floor. 

"Should I sit?" he asks when Magnus steps back.

"If you'd like," Magnus answers, "but there shouldn't be any harm in standing."

Alec nods, and Magnus picks up the massive tome Alec had seen him with earlier. His personal spellbook. Before he can start the spell though, Madzie launches herself into the circle and hugs Alec tightly.

"I know you haven't met me yet," she whispers, "but I love you, daddy."

Alec feels tears welling at the corners of his eyes as he hugs her back. He fights the urge to tell her he loves her too. This isn't his life. He’s not her father.

Madzie steps back out of the ring and Alec looks up at Magnus, nodding at him to start the spell.

"The only thing that's stopping you, Alec, is you," Magnus says. 

Alec opens his mouth to argue, but he can already feel Magnus's magic flooding the circle. After a few moments, everything goes black.

\---

Alec wakes up with a jolt, shaking, his bed at the institute is drenched in sweat.

"Oh good, you're awake," Jace says from the doorway. "I think mom is getting antsy about the wedding. They want us down there to help get everything ready."

"Yeah," Alec says absently, running a hand through his sweat-slicked hair. He swings his legs off the edge of the bed, feeling slightly unsteady on his feet. "Yeah, let's go."

"You okay, buddy?" Jace asks as Alec hurriedly dresses for the day. 

"Yeah," he says. "Just had a... weird dream, is all."

Jace doesn't push for any further explanation, much to Alec's relief. It takes several hours before his heart rate has calmed to something resembling normal. He just keeps moving though, trying to distract himself as much as possible in order to push Magnus from his mind. The wedding preparations help, as they take up the majority of the day and keep Alec fully occupied. When his thoughts drift back to Magnus or Madzie, Alec tries to convince himself of what he told Jace that morning. It was just a dream.

Eventually, it's time for the ceremony, and Alec moves to stand up on the dais, trying to focus on his breathing. He's never been more grateful for Jace's steady presence at his side.

"You've made me so proud," his mother tells him. Alec smiles back at her and waits until she's turned away to swallow against the rising lump in his throat. 

The ceremony is perfect, everything running off of Isabelle's meticulous design. Lydia looks beautiful. When she reaches out to put the cuff on his arm, Alec hopes she can't feel him shaking.

Then suddenly, everything stops. Magnus is there, striding down the aisle and ignoring Maryse's lowly hissed warning to leave. Alec's heart jumps to his throat.

"You gonna be okay, buddy?" Jace asks quietly.

"Alec," Lydia says, pulling his focus away from Magnus, "hey."

In. Hold for seven. Out. Hold for five.

"I-" He tries to explain, but his breath is still catching in his chest despite the counting, "I can't breathe."

"I know," Lydia says gently. "It's okay."

"I can't do this," Alec tells her, the realization hitting him unexpectedly. "I thought we were doing the right thing, but this isn't it."

"You don't have to explain," Lydia says.

"Lydia, I'm sorry," Alec says honestly. He never meant for any of this to happen. But he just can't do it. Not like this.

"Hey," Lydia says softly, reaching out to cup his cheek. "You deserve to be happy, okay?"

Her words loosen something in his chest, as if finally dislodging the conflicting belief that he had held there for so long.

_The only thing that's stopping you, Alec, is you._

Alec turns and faces the crowd, scanning the faces of everyone gathered before landing on Magnus. What if, ten years from now, he were really celebrating his five year anniversary with Magnus? What if, one day, they found a little warlock girl who needed a home, and they gave her one, together?

What would he do for a chance at that life?

There are seventeen members of the Clave in this room. His mother is standing just behind Magnus, her features stony and etched with disgust.

 _You're stronger than you think,_ Magnus voice echoes softly in his mind.

Alec squares his shoulders. He takes a breath and steps down off the dais. 

He moves forward towards Magnus. Towards happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> come prompt me on [tumblr](https://ithilien-writes.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
